running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
