yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
