i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
