Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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