Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
