Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
