I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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