Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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