new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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