what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
