He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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