Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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