I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
