Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
