Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
