Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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