What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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