Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
