When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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