tell your sister to shave her snatch
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Bring me that man meat
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
