Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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