her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
