Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
