go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
