So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
