Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Couch. On fire.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
