Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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