its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
