Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My dick has a subreddit
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
