you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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