Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.