is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her