um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.