i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Fuck appropriateness.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
