I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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