come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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