hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
