Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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