The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
