Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize