I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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