He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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