The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
