what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
