Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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