when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
