i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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