And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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