I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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