I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
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I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
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You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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