We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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