Tell her she can't have a vagina
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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