He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
