She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
