cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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