She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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