well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
