forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
