You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
