i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.