I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
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He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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